only if we run a train.
done.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
