i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
