Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
True strength comes from lack of pants
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
