...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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