What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
