walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
