awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
