stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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