any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
