Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
