a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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