Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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