I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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