she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
