I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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