I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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