Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
