and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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