doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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