I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
