i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
