roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
