This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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