i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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