Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
