Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize