Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
