haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
