Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
