omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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