The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
