i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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