I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You can't special order awesome
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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