"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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