Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
