Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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