are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
