Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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