Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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