my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have aggressive nipples.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
