Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
