Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
