I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
