cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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