Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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