Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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