summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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