Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
