thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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