i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
