apparently the secret to your success is patron
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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